Saying yes because he was so convincing
'He must really want this'
Did you really want this?
What About That?
Not confronting him for pulling away and growing distant
'He must be busy with work'
Did it not affect you and your work?
What About That?
Ignoring or explaining away unacceptable behavior and words
'He must be really troubled'
Did it not trouble you?
What About That?
Obsessively being there for him always
'He needs me'
How about your needs?
What About That?
Not drawing boundaries or regular rituals for tending to the bond
'That's how he probably works'
Does that work for you?
What About That?
Not speaking up when feeling wronged
'He just does not know'
But you know, right?
What About That?
Always showing up even when hurt
'It will make him happy'
Does it make You happy?
What About That?
Following his every word
'It will please him'
Did it please you?
What About That?
Believing everything he said
'He knows more than me'
Even when you knew better?
What About That?
Trying to always understand him and seeing things from his eyes
'He is suffering'
How about your own?
What About That?
'Yes, you're right
I'm sorry
It was my mistake all along
I abandoned me
Not you
I thought I was doing the right thing each time
But I was leaving my own side all the time
Not anymore
I see how my excessive desire to please
Left us tending to only one while the other languished
No wonder you never saw me
Because I kept waiting and hoping for you to see me while not making an effort to show me
And the wait looks endless
So now I pause
And change the story
One thing at a time
Saying yes to only what lights me up and only what I truly want
Raising concern or sounding an alarm for help when something affects me
Asserting my boundaries when something unacceptable is said or done
Tending to my needs and asking for help and helping out with yours when I truly can without abandoning me, not impulsively
Figuring out what works for me in nurturing the bond and taking steps towards making it a regular ritual
Speaking up when feeling wronged, showing up tenderly with feelings as they are, without attacking or blaming
Tending to my wounds and asking for help and showing up with grace not compulsion
Considering your words and responding with own thoughts in regard instead of blindly following everything said or asked for
Speaking up when I know better, gently placing my thoughts for consideration
Taking the time to understand myself and share what I see from my perspective so we can see the whole picture together
THE LORD PROVIDES
Indeed <3
